Marriage

Ministering Through My Marriage


I don't know about you but marriage is not something that I witnessed much in my life. Sure my parents were married but that was short-lived. By the time I could remember they were already separated. My maternal grandmother was married but again, short lived. My paternal grandmother was too but her husband passed away before my teenaged years. And let's just say their union wasn't a great example of what marriage should look like. There were numerous extended family members that had gotten married and are still married to this day but as far as close to me (meaning relatives that I was exposed to on the regular basis) not one single marriage lasted. So I've never really seen what an enduring marriage resembled.


I met my husband, Robert, when I was 16 in 2006! By this time we have now been together over 15 years and we've been married for a little over 2 - since June of 2019. Trust and believe me when I tell you that our relationship - even the marriage - has been one rocky, rocky road! It may have even caught some people by surprise that a wedding even happened in the first place! To be honest, I think it took me by surprise too because of the strife between the both of us! I hated the discord in our relationship. But for me, leaving was not an option because I created a family with this man. I've experienced a broken home and it wasn't something I never wanted for my children.

Our Wedding Day

I want to say I took my relationship with God more serious after marriage, even though I started to seek God around 2017. Since God was not a priority in both our lives, you can imagine the confusion that now presented itself since I started to transform in Christ. The version of Monique that I was transforming into was not a version that my husband was familiar with. He was used to seeing an unloving, disrespectful and unforgiving version of Monique. That was the unhealed, unsaved and unaccountable version. But after acknowledging and healing from the emotional trauma that I experienced throughout my life, it was definitely a key factor in me realizing that someone in this relationship has got to change for the betterment of this family. And it had to be me. I'm only accountable for myself.


Scripture tells me that I have an assignment as a wife who believes in God. 1 Peter 3:1 says, "Wives, likewise, submit to your husbands. Do this so that even if some of them refuse to believe the Word, they may be won without a word but by their wives' way of life." To simplify, the way that I respect and submit to my husband will be more powerful than any word I will ever speak. Surely, I can tell my husband how God has transformed, and still is, transforming me for the better, but actually 'walking it like I talk it' is what truly matters. Think of it this way, how many people have told us something like, 'I love you' but their actions didn't show it? You found it hard to believe right? Well this scripture tells me that my actions, in fact, will speak louder than my words. My husband can choose to have faith in Christ just by me being a great representative of God's character resulting in him being convinced that my submission to Christ is responsible for that change.


In this section of my blog, I want to pour into you by pouring out from my marriage. Meaning, sharing the negative, the positive and everything in between to show you how I am striving to make my marriage pleasing in God's eyes. I am not perfect. My husband is not perfect. The only one perfect between the both of us is God. We are 'unequally yoked', as to say, we are not spiritually suitable but God is still able to get the glory from our marriage. After all, isn't it difficult to live in peace with someone who doesn't view things like you do? That takes a supernatural ability and that supernatural ability is the Holy Spirit who lives in us.